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Hello

Hi, Nice to meet you.

This is strange. I am retrying my hand at blogging. Some of you may have read my former blog, A Girl With A Blog. I am not over that one and I am looking to restart it and see how it goes but I wanted something fresh and free of all the other stuff that took over my first try.

I tried to get big to fast and I lost my story that I set out to tell.

This is my story in my words about what I am going through and how I am dealing with life.

Let’s start at the beginning of the year. Please note, I never share personal names or locations because while I want to share with you my life, I also want to not have crazy people coming up to me. It’s happened.

 

Now when I say the begin, I mean of 2018, don’t worry, I will spare you from anything to old as it doesn’t matter.

So 2018 up to now and go.

  1. Moved in with my boyfriend of 2 years in January
  2. February we found out he got into the police academy
  3. I got a new job in May
  4. Boyfriend started the Academy in June
  5. Boyfriend had a major anxiety attack to the point that I stayed home thinking I was going to have to take him to the hospital in August.
  6. Boyfriend drops out the police academy (Not an easy decision but one that had to happen) in August
  7. Boyfriend gets a new job that is boring
  8. Boyfriend starts to get help for his anxiety and is diagnosed with Adult ADHA and Depression as well
  9. I am strong-armed into resigning from my new job in September
  10. October get offered a new job
  11. Boyfriend and I adopt a dog (who I will mention on more soon)
  12. My BFF gets married in October
  13. I start my new job in October
  14. Started to go back to school in November

And that gets us to now. Wow, writing it all out makes we see how much of a year I have had. I can’t believe how much I have been through this year and this is just the highlights.

 

So I am going to start by focusing on the last few months really. That is what is on my mind and I need to be known.

So at the beginning of August, my boyfriend was still in the academy. He was having more bad days than good but was still trying to make it work. One morning, I wake up and hear him being sick. I ask if he is okay he says yeah and we get dressed. I then hear him having trouble catching his breath. I jump to action and make him call his PO to tell them he is not going in today. He then tells his PO how he has been feeling and what is going on with him. It is agreed that my boyfriend take the day off and so do I. We talk a lot about what he has been feeling and if he can continue in the academy. We go online and try and get him an appointment to see a therapist that he can talk to. Nothing for weeks.

We spend the next few days talk to our families about what has been going on and we all think he should try one more week.

On Sunday, some officers show up at our house and do a check on him. In speaking with them, we tell them the plan and they agree that Boyfriend needs to get some help. They help us get in touch with someone and we thank them. They also encourage him to really think about what is best for him right now. There is nothing that has happened so far that will disqualify him from trying again, however, if he falls out, he won’t be able to try again.

Boyfriend and I talk more and he tells me he isn’t sure what to do but he wants to go in on Monday and talk to the main person running the academy. In doing so, they all agree it is more important that he is healthy than anything else and they notify him that he is not a failure for needing to take a step back and get the help he needs to move forward. They are proud of him for realizing it and wish more people did that. They also asked him to reapply when he is more mentally fit because they would be proud to have him on the team.

Boyfriend then begins to get help for everything and starts looking for a job. He lands one in a few days which as great but it is not challenging and he has a lot of time to be in his own head which is not helping his depression.

Fast forwarding a little, I started a job in May and by the end of the summer, it was becoming more and more clear that I wasn’t meant to stay. I was hired as an ENTRY LEVEL HRBP and I thought I was doing a great job but it was becoming more and more clear that the management team I worked for wasn’t happy with my performance. I would try and fix things but everything was coming up with a bad light on me. To the point, I started making stupid mistakes. I was upset and not in a good place. On top of everything going on with my boyfriend, I felt like I was drowning and no one was going to give me a lifeline to help me. I was stuck. Then the meeting happened. I was called into a meeting that I had no idea what it was about. I thought I was going to be told off again but I was told I was to be sent home for the day and to think about my options, a keep coming back and failing only to lose my job or b they pay me one month’s salary and I resign. I went with B in the end because when I said I wanted to keep trying, it was made very clear to me one mistake or misstep and I was out.

I like to say I told the money and ran and I am so happy I did. The second I signed the paperwork, I knew I was making the right choice for me. While I am legally not allowed to disclose what happened, I can say for me this company was not a good place. I felt that the management team was pushing lines that didn’t need to be pushed and that they are very green in how they handle issues.

So I was unemployed a total of two weeks when a temp agency reached out with a job. I interviewed for it, think I wouldn’t know if I got it or not for a few weeks and got a call the same day it was mine. I was happy.

I have now been in the job for 4 weeks and I am so happy. I have been showcasing my knowledge and being truly happy.

During this time, my boyfriend was seeking help for his depression. He got on anti-depression and his therapist and he are meeting once a week. During one of the meetings, it was suggested that he might do well with an Emotional Support Animal. We have two cats but she believed a dog would serve him better. So we started searching. Not planning to get anything until we were back from my best friends wedding at the beginning of October. However, we found our dog on our first time out. He was there the second week we went as well and we were so in love with him that we adopted him the day before we left to make sure we didn’t lose him.

He is the best. He is helping both of us feel better. I have always been a dog person and he just comes over to make me smile. My new job lets me bring him to work and do so a few times a week to get be socialized.

 

Not only that, but I have also decided to go back to school. I am doing online school right now and I am just starting. I know I can do it and I am really going to throw myself into it.

The first class study session is tonight. Wish me luck.

I can’t believe what my life has been like these last few months. I am in a good place now and I hope to stay there.

Please be aware that this blog while different from before in that it is going to just be about me. I am going to make sure to only tell my story, I am also going to promote things I am truly into. I will not just promote anything. I am not a Kardashian, I don’t have a sex tape.

I want to be clear this is going o be about me and my life, in school, in work and in general. If you like it stay turned, if not that is okay. If you are into it, share it. I would love to know that someone likes my story. And tell me yours. I want to really get to know you. I am not a random girl behind a screen, I am really into helping people, it’s why I work in HR.

 

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