We have all heard the term and most know what it means but in case you don’t:
When a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they’re dating, with zero warning or notice before hand. You’ll mostly see them avoiding friend’s phone calls, social media, and avoiding them in public.
Why do people do this? It’s rude. The worst part is that it is EMPLOYERS doing it. I have been looking for work for a while know (as you know if you have been reading this at all) and while I answer all emails and calls and texts I am not getting anything back. This is rude and so wrong. I have but in the time to send in my resume, speak with you on the phone and/or in person and you don’t give me the time of day to call me or email me or just reach out in general to let me know that I am not the right person for you. The worst part is that when you don’t reach out, I wonder what happened and even more so, what the problem was with me that you couldn’t be bothered to let me know I wasn’t the right fit.
STOP BEING RUDE!!!!!!
If you don’t want to talk to someone anymore, tell them straight up. This goes for business and personal.
My boyfriend had this happen to him back in August. He is dealing with a lot and has for about a year. Anyway, he starting talking to someone, as a friend, and he was trying to start a real friendship with this person. He hung out with her, went to her house, messaged, texted, called the whole new friend thing. This goes on for sometime and while I was not sure that it was a good relationship for him to start, I supported him doing it because it made him happy.
Then one day it didn’t. He reached out and reached out and reached out, almost to the point of crazy girl fan level and got nothing back for months. I told him not to worry, if she is your friend like you said she is, she will reach out. She most likely just really busy with work and stuff. This went on until one day, he gets a text from her saying that she doesn’t want to be his friend and stop reaching out.
This crushed him. This person was the first person that he was trying to connect with since everything happened to him. He was so upset. I couldn’t do anything and all I really wanted to do was go up to her and rip her a new one. I am very protective of my loved ones and this was not okay.
What’s worse is that she could have said something so much sooner rather than letting him worry and thing the worst and know that she was there but not being able to talk to her when he needed someone to talk to.
I have been a believer that everyone desires to be told what is happening. I don’t care if you don’t want to connect with me or if you think I am not the right person for a job but Grow a pair and say so. I have been a recruiter and I always reached out to every person to say yes, no, or maybe. It made it so much better to know that they were not waiting on me to say something and that they can move one, especially if I spoke with them or had them come in for an interview.
STOP GHOSTING AND START TALKING
If you are in the middle of someone ghosting you or you are ghosting someone, personal or professional, STOP IT and reach out to them. Just tell them that it isn’t a good fit or you are not interested in them or whatever it is. Let people know what is going on so that they aren’t sitting around wondering.
If you don’t want to be someones friend because you aren’t ready for what that will mean, tell them straight up. You don’t know what it is like to think that you are not good enough when really it’s you that isn’t the strong enough person to let them know that you can’t handle the friendship they seek.
If they are not going to work out at your company, let them know. They are hoping for that call, they are looking for work because they want to work and you not talking to them and saying something is worse because they think maybe I still have a chance. That is the worst kind of false hope and it only hurts the person with it than you.
So my lovelies, how about in 2020 we stop ghosting each other and start talking about.